Private Role:
Now let’s look at the private role of the Covert Narcissist. This role is vastly different from their public role because it has nothing to do with pleasing anyone. They have done enough of that outside of their house. They have smiled all they needed to smile, encouraged and supported who they wanted to support. They have basically given their best to everyone on the outside. So, by the time they get home, they are exhausted. This is why there is no benefit in getting involved with a Covert Narcissist because the closer you get to them, the worse they treat you. The people in their private lives get treated the worst. They receive all the negativity that the Narcissist had been suppressing all day – silent treatments, horrible looks, nasty critiques, and vicious mood swings. The Covert Narcissist’s private role is that of an abuser and controller. For anyone in their private life, it means they will get the worst of what the Narcissist has to offer. They will get a front-row seat to a side of the Narcissist that people on the outside will never see. And the longer the Narcissist is allowed to carry on being a saint in public and a devil in private, the worse they become. This is why we cannot help them live a lie of being something they are not. In this article, I explained how the Narcissist drags their partners and other close relations into living a lie – the lie that they are in a happy relationship, the lie that the Narcissist is such a great person, and more. These are the types of lies that we perpetuate when we do not speak up or expose the Narcissist but play along with their agenda. But the private role of the Narcissist is one they enjoy immensely at the expense of others.
Personal Role:
The final role of the Covert Narcissist is one that many people do not see, sometimes not even those who live with them, as the Narcissist tries to conceal it even from themselves. But behind the Covert Narcissist’s anger, contempt, and discontent is someone who is miserable and depressed. They are consumed by a fear that they do not understand. They are troubled by an intense shame that they cannot seem to shake off. They beat themselves up for not yet having something or accomplishing something. They are their worst enemy. The Covert Narcissist’s personal role is mostly one of being a self-hater. When they are alone without distractions, they are left with only themselves, and it is not a pretty sight. They drag themselves around the house feeling sorry for themselves. They are consumed by a deep sadness that they intend to keep to themselves. So, they turn to their vices – alcohol, pornography, drugs, social media, and more – to distract themselves from themselves. Their personal role is also one of self-sabotage. Narcissists not only destroy their relationships and the people around them but also destroy themselves. To understand more about their hidden depression and self-sabotage.
Final Thoughts:
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