If you were to ask a narcissist that question, they would just look at you like, “Why would you ask a stupid question like that? I don’t have hurts.” Sometimes, they might say, “These people over here weren’t very good,” or “I didn’t like the way they handled it,” but they’ll insist that it doesn’t bother them. They blame others but come out looking strong, as if, “I’m better than all that. You may have hurts, but I don’t.” Yet, when you think, “If you don’t have any hurts, why are you so mean or caustic or rude to others?” they fail to see that it illustrates they’ve experienced improper treatment. Their notion is that showing any weakness means they aren’t strong.
7. Why is it so difficult to admit flaws and mistakes?
Whenever a narcissist makes a mistake—something we all do—rather than saying, “That didn’t go very well,” or “I miscalculated,” they can’t do that. If the mistake is so obvious that they have to acknowledge it, they’ll just say, “Well, it was your fault; it certainly wasn’t mine.” Narcissists have a thick wall of defensiveness around them, making it highly threatening to admit flaws or talk about their mistakes because it means they’re just a regular person.
6. Why do you feel the need to impress strangers?
When around strangers, people generally want to be friendly and pleasant. However, narcissists see strangers as a blank slate where they can write whatever story they want. They can think, “I’ll let you know how terrific I am,” and they may embellish how wonderful they are, fishing for admiration. When someone doesn’t know the whole story, they walk away thinking, “What a nice person,” when in fact it’s all phony.
5. Why do my differences threaten you so much?
If you interpret things differently or have a different emotional reaction, narcissists often think, “Why are you doing this to me?” Their lack of empathy means they can’t see life from another perspective. They have no curiosity about how you think or feel, and they refuse to acknowledge that you might not be the center of the universe at that moment.
4. Do you honestly believe your opinions cancel out the validity of others’ opinions?
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