When the narcissist knows you’re done, this is what happens. Everyone, the ice has finally broken for me, and that’s why you should, too. Establishing limits and recognizing when something is amiss is necessary. Nothing else is heard from your end with the narcissist since you stopped responding. They, the narcissist, are making an effort, but you don’t give a damn.
Today, explores the narcissist’s reaction once they realize you’re done with them. It’s gotten to the point where you’ve said, “The end. It’s finished.” Lock it down with a pin; everything is now over. I wish I could tell you how relieved I am that you’ve come to this realization, but the narcissist isn’t. They’ll attempt to regain your focus. They fear that despite your newfound independence, you will still be preoccupied with them. The realization that you are now the dominant party must be devastating to their pride. They dislike it because they prefer to play a leading role.
The goal is for them to take charge of you. When a narcissist reaches out to you and is turned down, it can be humiliating and detrimental to their self-esteem. When only one person has power and can make decisions, things can get complicated for them. The ability to influence and foresee the outcome is crucial. You may have decided to part ways and go on with your lives. If they haven’t come out and said anything before, they are reaching out now because they want and need you to notice and validate how they feel.
This is exactly what they are looking for—the ability to dictate the terms of the relationship. But when you step up and take the reins, they can’t cope. They no longer receive any form of attention or emotional validation from you, and they have no idea what you’re about to accomplish.
It’s possible that an attachment disorder is keeping them from moving past this stage. Due to this attachment issue, they are unable to form healthy bonds with you or break away from you. They think of you as their property because of this belief. Even if they’ve moved on and found another source of supply, they’ll still treat you like property and see you as an object rather than a human being with whom they can form meaningful relationships.
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