Your body knows the abandonment happens when they do not want to talk to you when they give you the silent treatment after you have done something opposite to or different from what they wanted you to do when they treat you like a wall and it feels like you have turned into a ghost. That is a felt sense experience, isn’t it? Now, you can’t give them an example of “when you did this and this happened,” because even if you were to give them an example, they’ll say, “Come on, you are exaggerating things. I was silent because you asked me to give you space. Now, is it a sin to listen to you? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do—give you space or not give you space? Because when I give you space, you think I am abandoning you, and when I talk to you, you think I am trying to manipulate you. What am I supposed to do?”
This double bind is what is called crazy-making. This is how they enter your head and mess up things, forcing you to think differently in a way that only serves the narcissist and no one else. Moreover, what you need to understand is that trauma memories are not stored the way normal memories are stored. This is also the reason why you can’t give them an instant example. For instance, you have a normal experience: you went out, had a dinner date with your kid, or something nice. It’s a positive, happy, non-stressful memory, and it gets processed in your prefrontal cortex.
Why The Narcissist Starts Caring When You Stop
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