Recently, I started reading a very famous book titled The Five Love Languages. While reading that fascinating and amazing book, I had an epiphany. I realized that narcissists speak none of these love languages; they do the opposite. They speak five hate languages, which I would like to share with you today. Throughout the entire duration of your relationship with them, they do the opposite of what has been suggested in this great book. The irony is that they force you to speak those five love languages, gaslighting you into believing that you are causing the problems, so you should give more and express your love the way it works for them. Without further ado, let’s dive in and explore what their five hate languages are so that you understand what’s going on.
Hate language number one: verbal abuse.
The opposite of what has been described in that amazing book. The author suggests that you should speak words of affirmation to your partner, telling them how great they are—not to feed their narcissistic ego, but because they need validation and approval. That’s their love language; that’s what they understand, and that’s what you need to do. But what does a narcissist do to you? They do the opposite. They verbally harass you, abuse you, belittle you, humiliate you, put you down, and treat you like an object. They sell your body in their imagination and sometimes say the most horrible things about you as a human being. They put you down in ways one cannot even imagine and then call it their way of expressing love for you.
How do I know this? Well, my father used to verbally harass and abuse my mother all the time, who, of course, is also a narcissist. But I cannot deny the fact that she experienced the most horrible form of abuse at the hands of my father. He would call her by derogatory names, put her down, belittle her, and she would absorb it. The crazy thing about all of this is that he would justify it as his love language. He even said that one day. He called his elder brother to discuss the relationship issue because they were thinking about divorcing each other, which never ended up happening. My father went on to say, “I don’t know what the problem with my son is. He always intervenes when I call my wife by these names. What’s the problem? I mean, you call your partner by that name out of love.” No, you don’t. You don’t call your wife a prostitute. You don’t call your wife horrible things. You don’t objectify her. You don’t sell her body through your words. No, you don’t do that. It’s unacceptable. But he considered it his love language, and I was villainized because I always tried to intervene and stop him, saying, “No, that is not acceptable. Don’t do that. That’s horrible. This is your partner. This is my mother as well. You are not only hurting her; you are hurting me too.” Back then, I was deeply affected, and I felt her pain. This is how crazy they are. Verbal abuse, verbal harassment, putting you down, criticizing you, diminishing your achievements, and turning things around is their love language.
Hate language number two: abandonment.
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