The first thing you have to do is allow yourself to process the emotions involved. When people see the narcissist in their life turning others against them, there is a lot of grief and hurt. You can’t believe you’re losing people around you; all of a sudden, people aren’t taking your calls, they’re not getting back to you, or they’re canceling plans. You start wondering what you did wrong.
I recall a particular case of someone who had a very narcissistic brother. The narcissistic brother started a smear campaign against the kind brother, spreading horrific rumors to anyone who would listen. The next time the kind brother showed up at a family event, he was surprised at how cold and indifferent everyone was. Several months later, someone in that social network informed him that his brother had been telling everyone terrible things about him. The kind brother was shocked and devastated, having lost a robust network he’d grown up with.
When I talked to the kind brother, I asked if these people mattered to him. When he said yes, I advised him to start reaching back out to them. Instead of defending himself, he should just be himself. He apologized for any inappropriate conversations and slowly started rebuilding relationships. However, some people never came around, having believed the narcissistic brother’s lies. I told him that if people were that quick to turn against him, maybe they weren’t worth keeping in the first place.
2 Ugly Lies Narcissist Programs You to Believe
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
