The most powerful tactic a narcissist can use to keep you under their spell and trapped is by keeping you in a fog. The more unclear you are about the situation, the more you blame yourself for everything that happens. This makes it easier for them to control, abuse, and keep the focus on themselves. But when you figure them out—and they realize that you know who they are—the situation changes dramatically.
Narcissists are predators. They study you; they are among the best at analyzing human behavior. They are overly attuned to their prey—those they have trapped. They study your behavior, your ways of perceiving the world, your thoughts on relationships, and even your breathing patterns. They observe every aspect of you, all to know how, when, and in what direction to attack. Even the smallest fluctuation in your behavior can trigger their narcissistic alert system, signaling that they might lose their source of supply.
A slight change in your tone can tell them you are up to something. So, once you figure them out, you won’t be able to pretend you don’t know for long—they will figure it out eventually. They will do many things, which I’ll cover in a minute, just to bring out a reaction from you, just to make you lose control.
Once you figure a narcissist out, the best thing to do is plan your exit strategy. Whether it’s your boss, partner, or parent—once you know who they are, the best way to deal with them is to leave and run. Let’s explore what they might do and how they react. How do they change and morph into different personalities just to keep you around or, worse, hurt you for figuring them out?
Now, once you know how they function, you may initially feel empowered, like you’ve discovered the key to your freedom. But before you reach true freedom, you have to go through a lot of pain. It will get worse before it gets better. There are two possibilities once a narcissist knows that you know.
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