Beyond those false constructs, beyond those layers of mirroring and copying others, there’s nothing. There’s nothing in there. Essentially, everything about a narcissist is fake. Their charm, the way they connect with people, they lie. Every single quality or attribute to a narcissist’s personality is a lie. It’s fake. Either it has been copied from others or they have acquired it as a defense mechanism because they know by following a certain type of script, by behaving in a certain way, by doing certain things, they’ll be able to get a certain response from other people. But beyond that, if you were to leave a narcissist in a dark room with themselves and this question written all over the walls, “Who are you?” I can guarantee you a narcissist won’t be able to take that for more than a day.
This is the reason why they have to be distracted all the time. They have to be focused on something else, and they can’t be with themselves. You cannot have a narcissist and have them be okay with their own company. They can’t stand it. They hate themselves. They keep running away from their own shadow. They are their biggest enemy. They are the monster in their own life. That’s why they are focused on anything and everything else except themselves. In reality, there is no self, as I was saying. So “who are you?” essentially can lead to a complete annihilation of the narcissist’s persona if they were to truly become curious about it, if they were to unrelentingly dig in deep, and if they were to explore it in nothingness.
For these reasons, many experts on narcissism, especially Sam Vaknin, suggest that if a narcissist has to truly become aware of their condition, they will have to be left in pure nothingness ultimately to know who they are. They are going to find out that they are not this false self they have created, this false reality only to fool themselves. Their false self is a major part of the gaslighting, delusional world they have created for others and for themselves. Beyond this false self, there is nothing they can ever find. They can only get in touch with the remnants of who they used to be, the true self they sacrificed on the altar of this false reality for protection, for existence, call it whatever you want to, maybe survival.
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