Narcissists are extremely competitive and selfish individuals. Therefore, it should be no surprise that they desire to see you fail. It is imperative for the narcissist that you are a disappointment—both to yourself and to others, including them. Today, I am going to go through eight reasons why the narcissist may want you to fail. These reasons revolve around the narcissist’s need for control, superiority, validation, and more.
The first reason a narcissist would want you to fail is to maintain control. Control is everything to the narcissist, especially in their relationships. If you are successful, doing well, or better than they are, they will perceive it as a threat to their dominance. That is why they are likely to undermine your success, create drama, or cause you pain to distract from your accomplishments so they can reassert their control and keep you emotionally or otherwise dependent on them. Narcissists often have a fear of abandonment, and if you are succeeding or forming healthy connections with others, they may feel threatened. By causing you pain or sabotaging your success, they can keep you isolated and dependent on them, preventing you from forming bonds that might weaken their influence over you. If you become too strong, independent, or confident, you will realize you do not need the narcissist, which will make them irrelevant—and they do not want that to happen.
The second reason a narcissist would want you to fail is to preserve their superiority. Narcissists thrive on feeling superior to others. Your success, happiness, or emotional well-being can trigger their insecurities or jealousy, as they have a need to feel better than others. They already struggle with deep-seated feelings of inadequacy, so to protect their fragile egos, they devalue you to feel better about themselves. They want you to fail so they can maintain that sense of superiority.
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