Narcissists are beings of jealousy and envy. It’s normal to feel jealousy. It’s okay. It’s a human emotion. But if you let that jealousy turn into animosity, and out of that animosity, you go around slandering, telling lies, and conducting smear campaigns, then you are the worst human being ever, which most non-narcissistic folks do not do. But when it comes to narcissists, they don’t digest it well. They don’t appreciate it. They do not rise above their emotions and wonder out of curiosity, “What is it here for me to learn? What can I adapt? How can I change myself to become as successful as them? How can I be inspired?” No, they either blame the successful person for having stolen things from others or label it off as a matter of sheer luck. That’s it. They will never acknowledge it. They have to put them down to rise above and feel better. “Oh, come on. Yeah, he’s successful, she’s successful, but it’s not as good as,” and then there would be somebody else in comparison. That is when they get really anxious. They feel really small. That shame comes up, and when that happens, you will see their face color changing, the tone of their body changing. The way they are carrying themselves clearly shows how jealous, how petty, and pathetic these human beings are.
When you ask them to take some action about their problems.
Covert, vulnerable narcissists in particular have a habit of complaining about their life. They can fake crying, they’ll tell you all the stories about their abusive partner, their abusive kids, and their miserable life. But when it comes to changing it, when it comes to you offering them solutions, like “Here are the steps, do this, do that,” they won’t follow up, they won’t follow through. And they will feel really irked because they expected you to become a part of their shared fantasy. They expected you to play a role in their ever-suffering life. They expected you to say, “Oh, poor you, there can be nothing done about you,” and let them rejoice in that suffering. They expected you to step in and be their ultimate savior. But because you chose to say, “Okay, I recognize the problem, let’s do something about it. Why suffer when there is an option?” that is when you turned into an enemy. An example of this would be a covert narcissist working with a solution-oriented, solution-focused therapist or coach.
16 Phrases to Disarm a Narcissist
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
