Leaving a narcissist isn’t just a breakup to them; it’s a psychological injury—a narcissistic injury. It’s a wound so deep that no amount of distractions, new relationships, or fake confidence can fully cover up. They can lie to the world at large, but they can’t lie to you. So they start making reckless decisions: destroying relationships, losing jobs, sabotaging friendships. Their own anger consumes them. They spiral into self-destruction because, for the first time, they have to sit with their own emptiness. Someone has called them out; someone has seen through them; someone has abandoned them. They have encountered a truth-teller, and they cannot handle the fire, the heat they feel from that experience.
Without you to project their misery onto, they have to face themselves, and let me tell you this: it’s their biggest fear. That is something they are not equipped to handle. This was confirmed by a narcissist I had a session with a long time ago. He was a self-aware narcissist and told me he had a breakthrough when he was left alone, when he was abandoned, when he was on his own in a dark room sitting without any source of supply. That is when he realized he had been the problem all along. But what did that realization lead to? Nothing. It’s just like a tiger becoming aware of its stripes. Now that it has seen its own reflection, it just knows. And that knowing is of no use.
This applies to all the narcissists who claim to be aware of their condition. While they burn in the fire lit by their own hands, they continuously compare their lives with yours. When they see you moving forward, growing, and healing, they feel destroyed because a narcissist does not have any form of individuality. They need to know if they are doing better than the people they compare themselves with to feel valuable. If there is nobody standing in competition, if there is nobody they can compare themselves to, they feel a total loss of identity. They are not able to recognize themselves, and that is what leads to a massive collapse.
Number Seven: They Will Never Ever Forget You
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