If you feel like you once had wisdom and now it has slipped away, and you’re finding yourself more confused, it’s likely because you started to ignore the wisdom you were given. When we don’t steward the gifts we’ve been given, they can be taken away. If you knew the truth at one point but justified another possibility in your mind—if you ignored the red flags meant to protect you—you didn’t grow in wisdom; instead, you rejected it. I’ve been there, but there’s a way back. First, repent for rejecting God’s wisdom and ask for it to be given to you again. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him.” But read on—James 1:7 warns us not to doubt. Wisdom and discernment are gifts that can repel narcissists—they don’t like being around people who can see right through them.
Number five is in a class all its own. These people don’t need validation from others; they have their own thoughts and control their own feelings. They are the Emotional Eagles. Narcissists thrive on people who need them, as that is how they maintain control. If they temporarily lose control of the situation or relationship, they will employ tactics like stonewalling, gaslighting, or even bullying to regain dominance. But Emotional Eagles are fiercely independent. This doesn’t mean they don’t have healthy interdependence with others, but they are far from codependent. They don’t need the narcissist to validate, like, love, or even need them. While they have a lot to offer in a relationship, they would rather fly solo than cluck with the aggressive chickens.
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