When their present does not serve them, the narcissist escapes to the past and revives feelings of power and control by remembering what they did and how they used to command and terrorize people. They obsessively dwell on these experiences and talk about them with almost everyone they can to get supply from within. They make themselves the source of supply when they can’t find it externally.
To explain this point further, I have an experience to share. A couple of years ago, I went to an event where my grandfather, a collapsed malignant narcissist, was also present. He was sitting in a room filled with people. When I entered, I greeted everyone, including him, but I knew that his ego was fragile, so I personally went and greeted him to make him feel special and better than the rest. After a couple of hours, he called me in a gathering of people, pointed at me, and called me over. He started berating me quite loudly and uncontrollably for not greeting him. In my defense, I reminded him that I did greet him. This enraged him even more because I was questioning his memory, which was clearly not functioning well since he was very old. He then started glorifying his past days, how powerful he used to be, how he used to terrorize people, and how his voice was a symbol of fear for many. He did this shamelessly, trying to bring those days back, but in a helpless manner.
This example shows us how much they want to be who they used to be. Once they collapse, they want to bring those days back to life and relive them because during those times, their false self was quite intact, and they were full of supply, playing with people like objects and toys.
From this story, we can learn two things:
- A narcissist’s defenses are still intact in some capacity even when they have collapsed.
- If they have nothing to take supply from, they will take it from within their own experiences, past memories, and old stories they have created in their heads.
Number Four: Compulsive Behavior Intensifies
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