If you were to strip back the skin and look inside of what that person really is, there is a whole lot of darkness in there, there’s a whole lot of unmet needs, and what that manifests itself into is problems with interpersonal relationships, rage, anger, entitlement, and the list goes on because they can’t self-soothe, they can’t feel good on their own. So they look for others to do that, and that is what the narcissist requires.”
But that isn’t love. There isn’t this togetherness; there isn’t this building something together. In fact, narcissistic relationships happen in reverse where they’re so intense, where they’re so engulfing at the beginning, and then the intensity lessens over time, and you feel like you’re losing them. Healthy relationships happen the other way around. There isn’t this intensity; things don’t happen at a fast pace. It’s slow, and then it progresses and deepens. But for a narcissist, it happens the other way around because they want you to fall in love with them. There’s this rush for you to fall in love with them, for you to provide them with everything that they are looking for, with everything that they need.”
Because then they don’t have to work so hard. They know that they’ve got you; they know that you love them; they know that you accept them. So they believe that you accept their faults and all, and you just have to deal with it. You have to just put it right, kind of like how a parent has an unruly child or a naughty child. That is the kind of love that you will be expected to give the narcissist.”
And indeed, if you look back, that is the kind of love that you did have with the narcissist. It’s one-sided. The narcissist does love you as long as you are giving them what they want. They love you in a way where you provide something for them. They see people as objects, so objects are things that you can pick up and put down, and they’re also replaceable. There is no real connection from one person to another because the narcissists can’t connect. They have an attachment disorder, alright?
10 Toxic Communication Tactics Of A Narcissist
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