Offer Nothing: The second part is to offer nothing at all. Narcissists are predatory parasites. You are their host, and they need fuel from you. They need to punish you in one way or another. To starve them, you have to offer them nothing at all. Remember, no attention, no adulation, no admiration, no validation whatsoever. Talk about what is important and diffuse any situation by stepping out. Don’t indulge. The narcissist should not be able to tell from your body language what’s going on in your mind. Be unpredictable. If necessary, consciously offer something to get the desired behavior from them, but always calculate your risks.
Navigate Elsewhere: The third and most important part is to navigate somewhere else. The narcissist isolates you to exert maximum control. Once you successfully apply the first two parts, find a group that gives you a sense of belonging. Human beings have a genuine need for good people in their lives. You cannot flourish in isolation. Join online communities of survivors or launch a membership to feel part of a bigger community. Navigating elsewhere also means changing your routine to be opposite to the narcissist’s routine. If co-parenting, raise your children in a different way, change your living arrangements, and divert your focus away from the narcissist. Make sure you do not make them a major part of your life. Reduce them in your head and in other ways. Focus on yourself and only give them a small bit here and there sporadically or set a time slot.
That was it for today’s episode. I hope you liked it, and let me know how does this strategy sound to you. Do you think it will work in your case? If you could add something, what would that be? Drop your answers in the comments below, and I’ll talk with you in the next one. Until then, as always, let the healing begin and continue.
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