Who is labeled as the crazy one, the mad and psychotic one? You. What does all of that lead to? Appeasement of the abuser. When everybody is telling you the same thing—”Oh, there’s nothing wrong with this relationship. There is nothing wrong with this guy or with this girl. See how empathetic they are? How kind they are? That feigned innocence? That amazing charismatic nature. How can they be bad? You must have got it wrong.”—you start gaslighting yourself. “I need to try more. Maybe I am the problem here.” And that is how you get stuck in that cycle. They shape the environment to trap you. And that’s why it’s so difficult to leave a narcissist.
Diabolical Tactic #2: Unrestricted Access to Devices
Predatory trick number two: They give you unrestricted access to their devices, primarily their cell phone. I mentioned this briefly at the beginning of this article, but now let me expand. They give you passwords, and usernames for all their social media accounts. You know what emails they have, and you can openly read everything. What does that make you think? “Oh, this person is trustworthy. There is no red flag in the relationship. See, they’re open with me. I have their phone in my hand. I know their passwords. I can open it up and know what they’re up to.”
And the shocking thing is you don’t find anything there—nothing that can make you doubt their intentions. But what they hide from you is a burner phone, a burner number, or multiple social media accounts that you may not know about. They’re really secretive and mysterious. They use those burner devices and other social media accounts to hunt for supply in your absence. They keep you in a psychological trap of trusting them, falsely letting their guard down to make you think there is nothing to worry about here.
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