A narcissist has to keep you in the dark dungeons of their control, keeping you in an absolute state of powerlessness and worthlessness to feel better about themselves. It is their heart’s desire to always see you suffering the way they left you, to reinforce their delusional belief in omnipotence. But when you rise from your ashes like a phoenix and become the opposite of who they want you to be, it breaks their heart.
There are certain things you can do—things you can change in yourself, in your thinking, in your feelings—to prove them wrong and show them that you do not belong in the darkness they left you in.
Change the way you see yourself
Number one: change the way you see yourself. A narcissist wants you to feel not good enough. They will criticize and degrade you by saying you are too fat, too thin, too open, too closed, and too many other things. They will try to make you feel you are not attractive enough for them or that no one else will ever love you the way you are. They instill this chronic sense of self-doubt in you to make it impossible for you to leave. This is all a ploy to keep you around as a counter-action to their false programming.
Here’s what you need to do: you have to radically accept yourself as you are with everything. You have to feel valuable and confident, be compassionate and considerate towards yourself. To make it difficult for others to govern your emotional state, you have to trust your intuition and connect with your worthiness as a human being so that no one can deter you from believing in yourself. You have to heal yourself, undo all the programming that was put in your head by your parents, and find your value within yourself so that no one can decide your worth based on how they see or perceive you. You have to become one with yourself, be the parent you never had as a child, give yourself the love you want others to give you, and become confident enough in yourself to know yourself well enough that others cannot define you as a human being.
Develop thick skin
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