Number two: develop thick skin. If a narcissist has targeted you or is trying to draw you into a relationship, they will likely do everything they can to get you. This can involve flattering and saying all the right things to reel you in, or on the flip side, putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself so you seek their approval and beg for their acceptance. That’s where you have to work on the abandonment wound and these people-pleasing patterns so that no one can come around and intentionally or unintentionally trigger them and you get stuck in this loop of proving yourself worthy again.
The best thing you can do is develop thick skin, stay true to yourself, and stand your ground. If you let their insults bother you and their words get to you, you will only be playing into their hands. You have to understand that a narcissist’s projections are confessions. Every flaw, every bad thing they point out in you is basically their own personality that they are projecting onto you. They don’t want to accept this about themselves, but it’s still within them. Just because they are not willing to accept their truth doesn’t mean it becomes untrue. It will still remain in their unconscious, and they will have to deal with it. As a way to cope with that, they project it onto you, making it your truth so that they can fabricate their reality out of falsehood. They project everything onto you that they are themselves. So, you have to understand that you need to deflect every single bad thing that comes to you and not take it personally. The most important thing you can do is work on your self-worth. If your self-worth is high, if your self-concept is solid, if your self-esteem is strong, no one can come in and tell you who you are or point out these flaws and make you feel insecure. So, you have to work on these insecurities as well and really become solid in who you truly are and what you stand for.
Stay calm and hold your ground when they try to upset you
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