Why the Narcissist Sees You as the One Who Won
Narcissists project their guilt, shame, and shortcomings onto you. In their twisted version of events, you are the one who hurt them, took advantage of them, and left them to pick up the pieces. They see you as everything they despise in themselves.
Hereโs what is truly mind-boggling: they genuinely believe it. They donโt considerโeven for a secondโthe possibility that they might be the abuser. They just โknowโ they are telling the truth.
The Narcissist’s Perspective on Your Departure
After enduring months or years of their spirit-crushing abuse, you finally find the strength to walk away. For you, this is a moment of reclaiming your life. But for them, itโs an act of betrayal.
In their mind, your departure isnโt about your survival or healingโitโs about their loss. They convince themselves of the following:
- โYou abandoned me.โ
- โYou didnโt appreciate everything I did for you.โ
- โYou made me look like the bad guy.โ
- โNow you get to live happily while Iโm left in ruins.โ
They feel justified in their anger and unleash their rage, acting like the victim of your โmistreatmentโ while ignoring the harm they caused you.
Rewriting History: The Narcissist’s Narrative
When Narcissists Lose Their Scapegoat
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