At first, it’s just one brick, then another and another. Before long, you realize you’re no longer sinking; you are standing. And truth does something else: it doesn’t just expose a narcissist; it restores you. Because somewhere along the way, you lost yourself. You started living around a narcissist’s moods, needs, and demands. You stopped asking, “What do I feel?” and started asking, “What will make the narcissist calm?” You adjusted your tone, your words, even your personality, trying to keep the peace. God will not let you stay raised.
As God reveals the truth about the narcissist, God also reveals the truth about you: that you are not what the narcissist said you are. You are not the insults, not the accusations, not the twisted image projected onto you. God reminds you of your worth, your dignity, your calling, and the person you were before the fog rolled in—the person you are becoming.
Now, here’s something powerful: the narcissist’s control begins to crumble the moment you see clearly. Manipulation only works in the dark. Once you start recognizing gaslighting for what it is—once you notice how the story always seems abandoned in the narcissist’s favor—once you realize how many times you’ve been made to apologize just to restore a false peace—you start stepping out of the trap. You might look at a narcissist and think, “If I can just explain this the right way, if I stay calm enough, patient enough, kind enough, maybe the narcissist will finally understand and change.” But that’s where so many hearts get broken over and over again. Narcissism is not just a handful of bad habits; it’s not just a big ego that needs a little trimming. At its core, it is a deeply twisted way of seeing the self, others, and reality. It is a psychological and spiritual distortion. And no human argument, no matter how wise or heartfelt, can untangle that on its own.
When you confront the narcissist about the harm that’s been done, you often expect at least some remorse, some empathy, some responsibility. What you get instead is deflection, blame-shifting, denial, tears when it serves a narrative, outrage when the image is threatened. The narcissist’s entire identity is stacked like a house of cards on one fragile illusion: I am superior. I am right. I am owed. Any truth that challenges that illusion feels like an attack on the very core of their being. So the narcissist doesn’t soften; the narcissist hardens. The narcissist won’t say, “You’re right. I need to change.” Instead, they double down, twist the story, and, if possible, turn others against you to protect the image.
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