This mindset originates from the narcissist’s unwavering conviction of their superiority and indispensability, leading them to question why anyone would contemplate leaving such “perfection.” Nonetheless, despite their disbelief, you persevere with your decision to sever ties, taking necessary steps to detach yourself from the relationship—perhaps by cutting off communication, blocking channels, or choosing a strategic time to leave.
The Narcissist’s Reaction to Your Departure
When you leave, the narcissist is often met with profound shock and an overwhelming feeling of betrayal. Despite years of mistreating you, they’re caught off guard by your decision to depart. They might express disbelief, questioning how you could dare to leave them. You may feel compelled to remind them of the abuse they inflicted upon you, but it’s crucial to remember that the narcissist doesn’t genuinely care about your pain. Their focus is on your “betrayal” by choosing to walk away.
Following this initial shock, anger often ensues. The narcissist may experience brief sadness, but anger predominates—they are infuriated that you dared to defy their sense of entitlement. In their view, you are simply a possession to be used and discarded as they see fit. With your departure, however, you’ve shattered their illusion, refusing to participate in their manipulative games any longer.
Crafting a Narrative and Self-Gaslighting
To protect their self-image, the narcissist may enter a phase of self-gaslighting, crafting a narrative to justify your departure. They convince themselves that you left because of supposed faults on your part, like alleged disinterest or wrongdoing, shifting blame away from themselves. In my own experience, I couldn’t accept blame, so I deflected it onto my partner, casting myself as the “victim.” This tactic helps the narcissist avoid facing their own actions and shields them from any remorse.
The Smear Campaign Begins
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