Let me share my proof: my father, who was seen as the most shy, reserved, and timid person in our entire family, turned out to be the most shameless person I know. He did something so unacceptable and horrible that I could never look at him the same way again when I found out.
What is it that I’m talking about? Well, he tried to commit a sexual offense against one of my aunts; he tried to assault her while they were home alone, and she saw him as a father figure.
I cannot provide all the details of what transpired, but I can tell you that when we learned about it, we were paralyzed because that was the one thing we never expected him to do. We saw him as a tyrant, a monster—a psychopathic malignant narcissist who had no time for that kind of behavior. But one day, he tried to take advantage of an opportunity when he was home alone with her. She felt safe around him because she thought he was not of that nature.
On what basis did she think so? He had never done anything that would make us suspect he was a sexual offender. He had never dropped any hints. Whenever he was around other people, he would lower his gaze and be respectful towards women. But he proved us wrong; he failed us that day. He tried to force himself on her, and she had to scream and jump out of a window to save her dignity and herself.
When my mother returned, she cried her heart out and shared the details of the event with her.
The Aftermath and Family Dynamics
Here comes my narcissistic mother’s behavior into the picture, illustrating how dangerous narcissists can be. She was impacted by the situation, but she made it about herself. She showed no empathy towards her sister who had survived the assault. Instead, she created a big, dramatic, and chaotic scene, which meant nothing.
What did my father do in reaction? He wanted to contain her; he wanted her to shut up because he did not want us to know. He denied taking responsibility for his actions and tried to gaslight us. My mother was persistent but not forceful enough . She threatened him with divorce, saying, “I’m going to leave you.” But in the end, she never left. Would you believe that at the conclusion of all this, somehow the blame was placed on my aunt? It became her fault, and nothing changed within the family. They just moved on as if nothing had happened. My mother moved on with it, and possibly she has a history too—something I do not know—which is why it was normalized for her.
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