The pain-riddled person has been told their worth is tied only to their latest achievement or conformity. So, it’s essential to go inside and think things through—hence the need for therapy. The narcissist will dismiss any talk of inner self and change as “psycho-babble,” but their only response is, “I’m hurting right now, therefore I’m going to hurt you.” This self-perpetuating pattern leaves you as the recipient.
If you are the empath, your natural inclination is to help and please, but realize how dangerous it is to take your cues from someone who refuses to confront themselves. Understand that the pain inside the narcissist is so deeply rooted that you cannot pull them out of it. Therefore, you can take your pain elsewhere; you do not have to be their solution partner.
As you know, I’ve been sponsored for years by BetterHelp.com, an online therapy resource. As the need arises, please seek the therapy you need. A recent article noted that the percentage of people in America receiving therapy is higher now than it was years ago, indicating that people are open to it and gaining benefits from it.
We have courses on anger management, establishing boundaries, and finding yourself despite controllers, as well as webinars and articles. Take advantage of all of that.
Narcissists are hurting; they are in deep pain but are afraid to say the words “I hurt,” so it morphs into anger that they unload onto you because that’s all they know to do. I hope you can see through that and realize that even if you can’t make them change, you can at least remove yourself from the target position. Commit to your own well-being and internal growth, allowing you to be a person of peace that they can’t join you with. Acknowledge your own well-being and move toward steadiness and peace.
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