To the narcissist, once you are emotionally invested in them, they know they can manipulate you. With that manipulation comes a sense of control. Once your emotions are involved, their ultimate aim will be to manipulate those emotions. Therefore, once you realize you are dealing with a narcissist, you must learn how to control your emotions. If you don’t, the narcissist will control them for you—it’s that simple. When we become unreadable or stop reacting, they simply do not know what to do. This frustrates them and drives them crazy when we are a blank canvas in their presence.
Narcissists cannot operate around people they cannot deceive or control, as it makes them very uncomfortable. Anyone who makes a narcissist uncomfortable becomes an instant target that needs to be eradicated. In some cases, the narcissist may move on, meaning they remove themselves. But even though they may not take revenge right away, they never forget you or forgive you. So, if an opportunity arises in the future to harm you, they will seize it. In other cases, the narcissist simply wants you gone now and will invest their time, energy, and resources into eliminating you. It all depends on the narcissist, who you are to them, and how much of a narcissistic injury you may have caused. Narcissists choose which battles to fight immediately and which ones can wait.
All I can say is that narcissists are usually more offended by people they once controlled but can no longer manipulate than by those they never had a chance to control.
What would be great for all of us is the ability to spot narcissists from a mile away and implement the grey rocking method from the beginning. Being emotionally open and vulnerable around narcissists is one of the worst mistakes anyone can make.
I know of people who have faked certain emotions to trick a narcissist into thinking they were in control, in order to gain an advantage, and it worked because narcissists rely heavily on our emotional responses to figure out if they are winning. However, this approach can backfire. Just as they use our emotions against us, we can take control and use it against them. But that’s a different story. The most important thing is that you are the boss of your emotions and that you let the narcissist see only what you want them to see.
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