The fact of the matter is that Narcissists are very judgmental. And when it comes to the Covert Narcissist a lot of the judging happens in their minds and is only expressed to someone in the safe zone. For those who don’t know; the Covert Narcissist’s safe zone is usually their homes. That is where they show their true colours and share their darkest thoughts. So, many people outside will not be aware of how the Covert Narcissist actually thinks of them. Because although the Narcissist may applaud or complement you in public, inside they are filled with envy and jealousy. And as a result, behind your back, they will aim to belittle you and cleverly try to take the focus off of the good that you’ve done.
The Narcissist feels that they are superior to everyone else so no matter what you do the Narcissist always thinks that they can do better. Or that what you have done is not good enough. They are never satisfied with themselves so how can they be satisfied with others. They have many secret, unrealistic high expectations that they expect others to know and abide by and are severely disappointed and annoyed when they are not met.
Narcissists believe that others should be happy to respect and serve them even though they feed them only the crumbs from their table. The Narcissist wants the world from others in return for nothing. This is the type of validation they need in order to make up for the inner torment that they endure. There is a constant battle in their minds to prove their own worth. But also, Covert Narcissists judge you when you show emotions. They consider you weak and inferior just for being human. This is because Narcissists don’t just feel instead, they think about what and how they should feel. They think about what emotions are appropriate for any given moment instead of just being in it and experiencing it for what it is. Everything is strategic with them.
A very wonderful book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself (English Edition)
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