Here’s where things get really strange. After all the terrible things the narcissist did to you—lying, cheating, devaluing, and finally dumping you—they start to see themselves as the victim. They feel hurt because you’re not suffering for them anymore, not sacrificing yourself for them like you used to.
Understanding the way narcissists think can be mind-boggling if you’ve never dealt with them before. Their mindset is all about themselves, their needs, and their desires. Knowing this can help you deal with them better and understand why they act the way they do.
When you don’t give narcissists the reaction they want, they get upset and might start seeing you as the cause of their pain. It’s like they forget all the hurt they caused you and start playing the victim themselves. Pain doesn’t care about who’s right or wrong. If a narcissist feels pain because you’re not doing what they want, they’ll blame you for everything, even if they’re the ones who caused all the trouble in the first place. Why? Because they can’t handle taking responsibility for their actions.
Accountability is a big issue for narcissists. They can’t accept that they did anything wrong or reflect on their behavior. Instead, they get angry and blame you or anyone else around them. It’s much easier for them to be mad at you than to admit they messed up. A normal person would look at themselves and try to fix things if they hurt someone, but narcissists never do that. They’ll never admit they’re wrong or try to make things right. They just keep blaming others and never learn from their mistakes. This lack of self-reflection and responsibility is what makes dealing with them so hard.
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