The narcissist doesn’t just want your love; they want your reaction—your anger, your sadness, even your silence. If they can twist it back into control, oh, when all they get is nothing, they start to crack. And when that inner emptiness starts whispering louder than the applause ever did, they reach for their oldest trick in the book. Hoovering, like a vacuum in the night, they’ll try to suck you right back in. It starts subtly—with a random message, a friendly “just checking in,” or maybe even a soft confession: “I’ve changed. I see things now.” It’s bait, laced with just enough sweetness to make you forget the poison that came before. And if you don’t bite, they shift. The words get heavier. Guilt creeps in: “You abandoned me. You were the only one who understood.” They’ll speak in broken phrases meant to fracture your healing, hoping you’ll pick up the pieces and them with it. But hear me, none of it is real transformation. It’s not remorse; it’s strategy. The narcissist doesn’t miss you; they miss controlling you. They miss the way your heart used to bend to their storms.
So stand strong. When the silence stretches long and your soul starts to ache for something familiar, remember: you’re not missing the narcissist; you’re detoxing from the illusion of love built on control. And on the other side of that, there’s wholeness. There’s freedom. There’s finally you—beautifully you.
And when charm fails, the storm begins. See, once the narcissist realizes the sweet talk didn’t work—once the silence stretches too long and their hooks come up empty—they shift. What was once a polished performance turns into a tantrum of the soul. That’s when the anger shows up, raw and untamed. You might start seeing venom laced in their words; maybe it’s a bitter text at midnight, a sudden outburst online, or whispers traveling through mutual friends, twisting the truth and rewriting the past to make you the villain in their fragile fairy tale. Why? Because the narcissist can’t stand the vacuum that your absence created. That silence robs them of power, and they will do anything to fill that void. So they start flailing, spreading lies, planting seeds of doubt in every ear willing to listen. They don’t just want to hurt you; they want to discredit you. Because if they can’t control you directly, they’ll try to shape how the world sees you, hoping you’ll come running back just to stop the chaos.
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