8 Ways to Make a Narcissist Respect You (Even If They’re Incapable of Real Respect)

If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist—whether in your family, workplace, or romantic life—you already know this: you can’t win their approval, and you certainly can’t win their love. But what you can do is change the dynamic so that they treat you with more caution, more distance, and yes, a form of respect—even if it’s not the healthy respect emotionally mature people offer.

Before diving into the eight strategies, there’s an important mindset shift to make:

Stop calling them “my narcissist” or “my narc.”
Language matters more than we like to admit. The moment you claim something as “mine,” you align yourself with its energy. And a narcissist’s energy—chaotic, draining, low-vibration—is the last thing you want entangled with your own.

You are sovereign. They are sovereign. You’re not here to own them or attach to them, even linguistically. You’re here to reclaim your power.

So with that in mind, let’s talk about what actually works.

First, a Reality Check

People with destructive narcissistic traits don’t experience real respect. What they offer in the beginning—admiration, validation, praise—is a performance designed to hook you.

But once the mask drops, you deal with someone who is deeply insecure, deeply shame-based, and incapable of sustaining genuine empathy.

So the goal isn’t to make a narcissist love you or value you.
The goal is to change the power dynamic so they treat you with caution rather than contempt.

Here are the eight ways to do that.

1. Own Your Frequency

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