Let’s look at a friendship as an example. So, let’s say you’re friends with a narcissist, and they have tickets to a game that you want to go to. They’ve got you jumping through hoops because they know you want these tickets, right? So, they’re asking you for favors, and they’re really taking advantage of this. Now, it sure would be helpful to know that they already gave the tickets to someone else, but a narcissist probably isn’t going to volunteer that information if it’s going to stand in the way of them getting what they want. This is one of those cases, this is one of those, like, gray areas that’s not really a gray area. Just because they’re not outright lying, just because they’re not saying, ‘Well, I didn’t give these tickets away,’ they’re just omitting the information doesn’t mean they’re being honest. They are not being honest. I believe that’s what they call lies of omission, and they’re very popular among narcissists.
The sixth lie is ‘I’m going to change.
I am going to be nicer. I am going to do the things that you want me to do around here.’ And this is a lie that you’re only going to hear when the narcissist needs something from you. So, if they need you as supply, let’s say they discarded you, and they’re coming back on a hoover because they need supply, and you are the fastest route to get there, they’re going to promise you the world. They’re going to promise you that things are going to get better, that they’re going to maybe go to counseling or they’re going to be nicer to you, improve their behavior. But if you’ve been here again, you know that this is infuriatingly false.
The seventh lie you may hear from a narcissist is harsh; it’s a difficult one to hear and it’s a difficult one to talk about now too. But the lie is ‘I love you.’
It’s unfortunate and it’s sad all around because narcissists are deficient in emotional empathy. They have trouble making the types of connections that are necessary for true love. And this lack of empathy is also what allows them to hurt people without remorse. And if you’ve been here, I feel for you because I’ve been here too. It’s at this moment when you realize this lie, you probably end up feeling like you’ve been betrayed. You might be thinking things like, ‘How could somebody who ever loved me treat me in this way? How can someone who supposedly cares so much be so cruel?’ Unfortunately, it is the lack of empathy that allows a narcissist to do that, to switch off the kindness and switch on the hate just like that.
And the last lie that all narcissists will tell is ‘You’re worthless.’
The Narcissist’s Favorite Person: Why Do They Matter
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