You start to see that what looked like depth was really performance, that what felt like mystery was smoke, and that what you thought was a soul-level connection was just another act to pull you in, make you feel chosen, and keep you invested. Then another truth lands: the script isn’t unique to you. The narcissist runs the same play with anyone who steps in close. The compliments, the claim that you’re different, the intensity, the sudden coldness, the silent treatment, the blame—it’s all part of a pattern. You realize that if you left, someone else could step right into your spot, and the performance would continue without missing a beat.
That’s a painful realization, but it’s necessary because it shows you something powerful: your presence was never truly cherished. You were never seen as irreplaceable. You were a role to fill, a function to perform, a source of supply. Once you stop responding, the script collapses—not because the narcissist is heartbroken, but because the show lost an audience. And here is where your strength shows up. You can step out of that world, and your life doesn’t crumble. The narcissist won’t rescue you, but you don’t need that; you rescue yourself. You walk away, and for the first time, you realize the cage door was never locked from the outside.
Once you see the emptiness, you become wiser. You stop being impressed by chaos, stop confusing intensity for intimacy, and stop giving your time to people who repeat the same drama instead of growing. You learn to walk away before you get pulled into another performance. That clarity is a gift paid for by your tears, but a gift nonetheless.
You were never treated as a whole human being. One of the hardest truths to accept is this: during that relationship, your feelings only mattered when they were useful. Your joy was something the narcissist could claim. Your sadness was something the narcissist could twist. Your anger was something the narcissist could weaponize. Your fear was something the narcissist could use for leverage. You weren’t seen as a person with a full inner world; you were seen as a mirror, a tool, a fuel source.
continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!