So, they prefer to operate from a place of deceit by pretending to be something they are not and getting praised for it. But also, they convince themselves that they are who they pretend to be. That is why image is so important to the narcissist.That fake image is what opens so many doors and boosts their ego. This is also why their image is molded and tuned to match who they are surrounded by.
Narcissists are good at showing people what they want to see and telling them what they want to hear. And it is because they are so needy for acceptance, attention, and praise. When you love a narcissist, hate a narcissist, or are afraid of them, all you do is make them feel relevant. You are providing them with the validation they need. You are allowing them to have an impact on your life.
By doing that, you are granting the narcissist power over you. Because, as I always say, if a narcissist can control your emotions, then they can control you. But the ultimate power is still in your hands to change that. Because when you walk away from a narcissist, ignore the narcissist, abandon the narcissist, or just become emotionally detached, it breaks the narcissist. In this article, I explain further why ignoring a narcissist is so powerful. And it is because the narcissist wants you to care.
They want to know that they can affect you in some way. So, when you make it clear that they mean nothing to you or you live as though they do not exist, it hurts them to the core. And it is because they rely on others to make them happy. They rely on others to help them boost their ego and feel better about themselves. This is why breaking our spirit and impacting our self-esteem is so important. Because if they can break us badly enough, we will not realize how much they really need us, or how important or powerful we really are.
A very wonderful book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself (English Edition)
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