Furthermore, trauma survivors possess an extraordinary capacity for forgiveness, a trait developed in childhood for survival purposes. As children, they had no choice but to believe that the abuse they endured was their fault, or they had to continuously forgive their abuser, especially if they were dependent on them for survival. These tendencies are incredibly appealing to pathological individuals because they know they will need to exploit the survivor’s ability to forgive when the mask they wear starts to come off, revealing who they truly are. Survivors also possess superhuman levels of patience, which the narcissist will exploit throughout the relationship.
Narcissists rely on the survivor’s patience to push boundaries and perpetuate cycles of harm, knowing their victim is likely to justify or overlook their actions altogether. Survivors often cling to the hope that their compassion will inspire change in the narcissist, even though this belief is misguided. However, holding on to that hope usually leads them to endure far more mistreatment than they would ever allow for someone they love. These cycles of patience, hope, and forgiveness only empower and embolden the narcissist. While these traits would be viewed as virtuous in a normal loving relationship, in toxic and abusive relationships, they become chains that keep survivors locked to their abuser.
If you have been watching my channel for a while, you will know that I always say the most dangerous belief a victim can hold when involved with a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath is that there is hope things will get better. If you are involved with one of these individuals, there is no hope, and things will never change. That’s just a fact. The sooner you come to understand that, the sooner you will heal.
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