Emotionally Abusive Narcissists Will Lose Their Minds IF Empaths Do These 10 Things


What does it take to cause the narcissist to lose their mind for a change? Well, in today’s article, I’m giving you 10 things empaths can do to make the narcissist lose their mind. You don’t want to miss this. Let’s get started. (bright music)

So let’s talk about 10 things that empaths can do to cause the narcissist to lose their mind. But first, a word of warning. What I’m about to share with you applies to those of you who know you’re not in jeopardy of being harmed. You know that you’re safe, confident, and strong. It applies to those of you who are dealing with your average pain in the neck, the toxic human, otherwise known as the destructive narcissist. In other words, the empathy-impaired emotional manipulator who feels entitled to target and exploit others in any number of ways, the emotionally and psychologically abusive narcissist whose toxicity is problematic but isn’t likely to stoop so low as to become violent These strategies are not meant for those of you who are dealing with more high-spectrum and therefore dangerous narcissists. If you’re dealing with someone who is likely to become violent in any way and may harm you or anyone else who’s vulnerable, this article is not for you. Got it? Good.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s dive into the 10 things that empaths can do to make the narcissist lose their mind.

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Number one: Let them know you’re onto them.

Show them your attitude and your energy. Let your facial expression and the vibe you carry say it all. Done right, you’re letting them know that you see right through them. And when they realize that you see through them, that you’re onto them, that you know what’s behind the mask, when they know that you know just how toxic, fragile, and inadequate they actually are, when they know that you know how fragile their ego is, how fragile their false sense of self is, and how fragile, inadequate, and inferior their fake phony facade really is, along with all the false bravado, or in the case of the covert narcissist, what complete and utter BS the ongoing and never-ending victim story is, it’s game over. And that alone can drive a narcissist insane.

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Number two: remain completely nonreactive.

If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, whatever you do, do not react. Refuse to acknowledge their attempts to provoke you, bait you, hook your attention, and inspire an emotional reaction from you. In other words, refuse to engage, respond, argue, or defend yourself. Just refuse to fight back. Narcissists need emotional intensity. They need drama and chaos to feel alive. And they literally feed off of your emotional reactivity, which is why they work so hard to trigger it. Because in their sick mind, this is how they remind themselves just how special, superior, and important they are. In addition, they especially need a target—someone whom they can project onto. When you refuse to engage, when you refuse to fight back, when all of their cheap shots, hurtful criticism, personal attacks, and full-blown projections, meaning all of their deeply buried shadow selves that they carry subconsciously, again, their own guilt, shame, and self-loathing, when they’re dumping all of their crap onto you, and all of it is met with a flat-line, unemotional, non-reactivity, a complete blank stare, a poker face, if you must, But the point is, when you hold this posture, their nonsense has nowhere to land. They aren’t getting their dose of narcissism. No emotion, no energy, equals no supply. And when you do this and their attacks and projections don’t land, you don’t take on any of their stuff. They literally cannot unburden themselves of the heavy load they carry. And let’s be clear: it’s their load to deal with. It’s not your stuff. And it’s certainly not your responsibility. So if you must say something, simply say in as calm and unemotional a tone as you can manage, “I understand. Here’s the thing: You don’t get to take your pain out on me anymore. And silence, not another word. This isn’t a reaction. This is delivering information, period. So remember, narcissists need a chosen target, a human dumping ground, for the express purpose of unburdening themselves from their deeply buried, disowned shadow. All the stuff they carry subconsciously that they cannot own, accept, or acknowledge about themselves So when you refuse to react, when you refuse to get into the ring with them to roll around in the mud with them, when you refuse to engage or fight back, if you remain completely flatline and totally non-emotional and non-reactive, their stuff has nowhere to land, and they don’t get to feel the relief of having dumped it all over you. The result of this level of detached self-control and emotional maturity on your part is precisely how the narcissist learns the extent to which they’re powerless over you. And nothing will drive a narcissist crazy; nothing will cause a narcissist to lose their mind faster than realizing they’re powerless over you. Powerless to manipulate you, to affect you, to control you—completely and utterly powerless.

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Number three : radical honesty.

Few things will drive a destructive narcissist crazy faster than the truth. Cold, hard facts, baby. In other words, being brutally honest to a fault. Trust me, I grew up surrounded by people of this type. I dated a bunch of them in my past life and even worked with a few in my previous career. And I can tell you, looking back, that the thing that drove them most nuts about me was my penchant for the truth, my tendency to speak my mind and call it as it is. It was fine for them to say whatever they wanted to, but nobody else gets to speak up or speak out. And here’s a fun fact: The truth has a vibrational frequency 1,000 times more powerful than any lie ever will. That’s why the truth wins every time. Maybe not immediately or instantaneously, but in the end, you can count on it. And those of us who carry this level of honesty in our field are highly disruptive and disturbing for the destructive narcissist. Even when we don’t open our mouths, they can’t quite put their finger on it, but something about us makes them very uncomfortable. It’s the rise of truth in our field. Maybe not consciously, but on some level, they sense that frequency, and they don’t like it. It threatens to expose them and all the lies they live by. So learn to use radical honesty to your advantage. The thing is, narcissists are so comfortable with lies and deception that this level of honesty is completely foreign to them. And it causes them to squirm in ways that can be fascinating to watch. Don’t forget that narcissists are highly manipulative and have a very fragile sense of self. When you stop telling them what they want to hear and instead start telling them the cold, hard truth—what no one else has the strength or courage to say to their face, in particular when they’ve backed themselves into a corner—they’ll likely disappear fast. And in my opinion, that’s a very good thing. Can you imagine something as simple as the truth being that powerful? A mentor of mine used to say, “The truth is always good enough. Words I will live by forever.

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Number four : Treat them with indifference.

Treating a destructive narcissist with a healthy dose of indifference will drive them absolutely mad. Narcissists feel entitled to treat others with unwarranted and unprovoked contempt and disdain. But when the tables turn, they’re often completely destabilized. They can’t figure it out. It’s a classic case of rules for you but not for me—the double standard. They can treat others like absolute goo on their shoes. But the moment they realize their existence means nothing to you and you’re completely and utterly indifferent to their presence or whatever it is they think they have to offer, it drives them crazy. Which brings me to my next point.

Number five : rejection.

Don’t be fooled by the false persona or the mask. Although they hide it well, the majority of narcissists have a deep fear of rejection and abandonment. Now, while they might appear on the surface to be very confident and have strong self-esteem, this is often no more than an act, a facade. Underneath their false bravado is a fragile, insecure, and immature ego that needs constant bolstering. And few things can shatter that false confidence like rejecting them. When you show a narcissist that their opinion has zero sway over you, that their antics, control dramas, power dynamics, toxic gossip, all the loyalty conflicts they create, the perceptions they’re busy trying to manipulate, and all the nonsense that they bring to the table, when you show them that you couldn’t care less, that you’re completely unaffected, not the slightest bit interested, impressed, or bothered in any way, they know full well they’re being rejected, and that blows their mind. They have no idea what to do with that.

Number six: exposure

The threat of exposure is terrifying for a destructive narcissist. And this is actually not hard to do. All you have to do is put them on the spot in front of others. Now, this might take some strength and courage on your part that you’ve yet to develop, but assuming you’re safe and you’re feeling strong and relatively bulletproof, putting the narcissist on the hot seat, especially in front of others, can be very effective. For example, you can easily do this by exposing their toxic gossip for what it is. Just say something like, “Yeah, that’s none of my business,” or, “That sounds like a personal problem. Perhaps you should keep that to yourself. And then not another word. You’ve highlighted their behavior for what it is. There’s nothing more to say. Other options could be exposing their obvious incompetence, the extent to which they exaggerate, or calling them out when they’re being passive-aggressive. Like, for example, “Did you just roll your eyes at me? Interesting. It’s good to know. And then silence. Not another word. No matter what they say, stay calm. Or better yet, smile subtly and watch the narcissist go on to further expose themselves for exactly who and what they are. You can also ask them a direct question in front of others that they can’t legitimately answer without risking exposing and embarrassing themselves. Works like a charm.

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Number seven: unfavorable comparisons

No one suffers from comparisonitis more than a person with a destructive narcissistic personality pattern. Life for them is a constant, nonstop, never-ending competition in which they must come out on top or win at all costs. And they’re not above competing with their own children, stepchildren, nieces, or nephews, in particular, when everyone happens to have been cast as a family scapegoat. They’ll do this in a desperate attempt to shore up their fragile sense of self, and the false image they work so hard to convince you of is the truth of who they are.

To a narcissist, their value and self-worth are directly tied to external factors, such as physical appearance, social status, authority, possessions, who they know, and what they, their partner, and/or their offspring do for a living. This type of so-called self-worth is fragile at best because it’s dependent on external factors and a competitive perspective. In other words, narcissists can only feel good about themselves when they compare themselves to others and feel superior as a result. But they have a really hard time coping when the comparison is not in their favor or they come up short and are seen as inferior in some way. So, all you have to do is shine a light on the unfavorable comparison, and then sit back and let the narcissist do the rest. Remember, a fundamental narcissistic trait is viewing themselves as superior, above others, and therefore entitled to special treatment, privileges, or favor as a result. When reality contradicts this view, a narcissist will scramble as their ego defenses go into maximum overdrive. They’ll try to minimize or ignore the situation, attack their perceived rival, or find a way to boost their status in a desperate attempt to win the game of one-upmanship. If you’ve ever watched this play out, you know just how pathetic it can be.

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Number eight: ignore them.

Do not give them any attention—zero, nothing, nada. Don’t return their phone calls, do not respond to texts, do not reply to their emails—give them nothing. In fact, if you’re smart, you’re not even opening and reading that nonsense. This is how you starve a narcissist to death, both emotionally and energetically, and drive them out of their mind in the process. If you can’t ignore them entirely for any reason, then ignoring them is often no more complicated than not taking anything they do or say seriously. In other words, you fully have a “whatever” attitude, and you don’t so much as bat an eyelash in response to the drama, the chaos, the bullying, the toxicity, or the idle threats. In doing so, you’re fundamentally highlighting the fact (and I do mean fact) that you’re dealing with an entitled emotional toddler in an adult’s body who is suffering from egotistical delusions of grandeur. They know it, and you know it. By ignoring their grandiose stories and all the virtue signaling that they do all day, their ego takes a huge hit. They aren’t succeeding in manipulating and controlling you or your perception, and therefore they lose. And on that note.

Number nine: Get happy.

Seriously, if you want to drive a narcissist crazy—any narcissist in your life, no matter who they are—find a way to become the happiest person you know. Legitimately, genuinely, authentically happy, really happy, and at peace. Make the decision to start living your best life as your best self, whatever you have to do to get there, and let the narcissist eat their heart out when you do. I promise you, they will. What most people don’t realize is that happiness is a choice, and you can choose it. Now, admittedly, this may take some work on your part, in particular if you’ve been narcissistically abused and have yet to begin your healing and recovery work. But I promise you this: if you take the focus off of the narcissist and instead pour all of your time, energy, attention, and resources into your own healing and recovery process, you can become the happiest, healthiest person you know. How do I know? I’ve done it, and I help others do it every day. And here’s what I know for sure: When you are busy living a good life, genuinely happy, seriously productive, thriving, feeling good, doing well, minding your own business, just doing your thing, and the narcissists can see even from a distance just how good life has become for you without them, they know you’re not the least bit curious about them, what they’ve got going on, what they’re up to, or who they’re doing it with because you’re just too darn happy to notice or care. That, probably more than anything else, will cause a narcissist to lose their mind. And if you want help with that, go to TamieMCoaching.com, click on programs and reviews, and learn how you can become the happiest person you know.

Number 10: Establish and maintain no contact

When you establish and maintain no contact with a narcissist, especially over the long term, what you’re really demonstrating is that you’ve given up on them entirely. You’ve closed the door and walked away for good. This is not a negotiation, and it’s definitely not a game. It’s absolute and complete detachment on all levels. Absolute and complete disinterest on all levels. “I couldn’t care less. I love me more, and you are dead to me,” period. No attention, no energy, no care, no concern, no narcissistic supply, which boils down to no contact. And for the record, this doesn’t make you bad, wrong, heartless, or unfeeling.