However, once the narcissist establishes control, they will strategically begin withholding the validation they once freely gave to the survivor. They will use it as a weapon to manipulate and dominate, withholding the very things they know the victim is desperate to feel. This, my friends, marks the beginning of the establishment of the trauma bond. The inconsistent reinforcement builds a toxic bond, making the victim increasingly desperate for the recognition and validation they received during the love bombing phase. Eventually, this cruel tactic traps the survivor, who chases an illusion of acceptance while the narcissist feeds off their desperation and insecurity.
Trauma survivors often develop codependency as a survival mechanism. This arises from being raised in environments where their emotional needs were unmet or dismissed. Consequently, they learn to prioritize the feelings, wishes, desires, and well-being of others over their own. They may possess a deep-seated belief that their self-worth is directly tied to their ability to serve, fix, or appease. This is incredibly attractive to pathological individuals because it provides them with a partner who is overly focused on their needs and willing to sacrifice their own identity to maintain the relationship. This power imbalance is exactly what narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths seek. They take full advantage of the survivor’s inclination to give without expecting reciprocation.
Additionally, this toxic dynamic feels familiar to the survivor, often mirroring the unbalanced relationships they’ve endured in the past. Unfortunately, this creates a cycle where the survivor’s identity becomes intertwined with the narcissist’s demands, leaving little room for self-care or individuality. The narcissist becomes the survivor’s life and identity, leading them to lose every aspect of their own life that they once had. This is precisely the type of relationship these individuals want to create. They are not interested in relationships of mutual respect, give-and-take, or equality; they seek relationships of complete domination where they hold all the power.
Continue reading on the next page
[adinserter block=”3″]
Sharing is caring!
