Next, trauma survivors often carry a deep, almost primal longing for love and belonging, rooted in the wounds of their past. Most childhood trauma survivors have experienced neglect, rejection, and emotional abandonment from someone they depended on for survival. Unfortunately, this can create an internal belief that they are unworthy of unconditional love, making them much more vulnerable to succumbing to the narcissist’s love bombing. Remember, these individuals are masters at mimicking affection and connection in the early stages of a relationship. It’s called love bombing, and they all do it. They create the illusion of meeting all of the survivor’s unmet needs by showering them with attention, admiration, love, and affection. If the survivor is uneducated about the grooming techniques of these types of individuals, this can feel like they have finally met the person of their dreams—the one who is going to rescue them and create the future they have always longed for.
Moreover, trauma survivors are often highly empathetic, which can translate into a deep desire to help others heal, especially if they believe they are in love with this person. They may want to provide everything they were denied as children. Trauma survivors often feel driven to prevent others from experiencing the pain they endured. Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths see this underlying desire as an opportunity to exploit it for their own gain. They will present themselves as deeply wounded, broken, or in need of saving. However, the survivor is often unaware that this entire narrative is just an act and a manipulation tactic to get them invested and ultimately exploit their good nature and intentions until they have nothing left to give. Nothing the survivor does to help this person heal will be truly appreciated, and certainly, none of these acts of love and kindness will be reciprocated.
Additionally, trauma survivors have usually been groomed from a very early age to accept guilt. They have been conditioned to believe that the chaos created in toxic and abusive environments is their fault and that their actions could have prevented the harm they experienced. This makes survivors incredibly appealing to pathological individuals because they know this person is already accustomed to being blamed and taking accountability for things they’re not responsible for. Although the survivor has no idea what’s happening at this stage, the narcissist knows what lies ahead: the victim’s future will be filled with abuse, disrespect, neglect, and gaslighting, among other things, with the victim blaming themselves for all of it.
Trauma survivors often have a deep need for validation, stemming from years of feeling unseen, unheard, or being labeled as untrustworthy. Much of their early experiences were marked by criticism, neglect, or a complete lack of acknowledgment, which can create a gaping void in their heart where self-worth and confidence should reside. Pathological individuals are always on the hunt for emotional vulnerabilities to exploit in others. They will zero in on this need for validation and use it to their advantage. They will incorporate giving the survivor validation as part of their love bombing tactics, praising the survivor and using over-the-top affirmations, telling them how much they admire their strength and fortitude for anything the survivor has shared about their childhood abuse. This can create an addictive sense of euphoria for the survivor, who may finally feel recognized and appreciated for the first time in their life.
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