They intentionally get under your skin and mess with your emotions because, if they can make you upset, angry, or frazzled, they see it as a win. That’s their game, and they’re frighteningly good at it. While a child might tease out of innocence, a narcissist does it with calculated intent—and it’s anything but harmless.
3. Your Reactions Give Them Narcissistic Supply
Narcissistic supply refers to the admiration and validation that fuel a narcissist’s ego. Their craving for attention is so insatiable that they’ll do almost anything to get it.
Think of them as scavengers constantly hunting for their next meal—in this case, anything that boosts their sense of self-importance. Praise, attention, recognition—they’ll take it wherever they can get it.
A narcissist’s entire identity depends on how others perceive them. They want to be seen as winners, successful, and superior to others. To achieve this, they provoke you for two main reasons:
- To prove they are in control. By manipulating your emotions, they demonstrate their dominance in the relationship, showing that they can make you react however they want.
- To feed their ego. Seeing you upset or frustrated reinforces their sense of superiority. Your reaction reassures them that they still have power over you.
If you no longer admire them or follow their commands, they’ll provoke you just to see your discomfort. This fuels their ego, confirming that they still hold control over you.
4. They Want the Spotlight on Themselves
As we’ve already discussed, narcissists thrive on attention. Their self-worth relies on external validation, which is why they struggle when they’re not the center of attention.
It doesn’t even matter what is stealing the spotlight—it could be another person, an event, or even an inanimate object. Whatever it is, they’ll do whatever it takes to shift the focus back to themselves as quickly as possible.
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