Are all narcissistic men secretly gay? Do they hide and conceal their real sexual orientation from you throughout the entire course of the relationship? Is this why they go around and sleep with people from diverse sexual backgrounds? Are they sexually fluid? What is the explanation for their uncontrolled and provocative sexual behavior? Let’s get answers to all of these questions once and for all in today’s episode.
First things first, not all narcissistic men are secretly homosexual. You need to understand that as a survivor of narcissistic abuse because many of these men do weird and unacceptable things that do not align with their presented orientation. This might make you wonder what’s going on with this person. Are they closeted gay? Are they hiding something from me? Most of them, however, are not gay. Maybe a couple, but most of them do not go around and sleep with people because of their hidden sexual orientation. Their sexual fluidity is a result of something called narcissistic autoerotica or autoeroticism. A narcissist does not have any genuine desires; their fantasies are based on how they control others, the power they seek in this world, and how they believe they are better than the rest, for which they can go to any extent. To attain that power, they seek validation from people. Essentially, what matters to the narcissist is the validation, admiration, adoration, and ultimate enabling they can get from anybody. In a very crude way, I have to say, anybody works for them if they can use it. It doesn’t matter who the person is, what their gender is, and if they are into that gender or not. What matters to the narcissist is the validation, the admiration, the ego-worshipping, and how they are being put on a pedestal.
Their turn-on is not the actual sexual attraction that one feels; it is the validation, admiration, adoration, and enabling they can get from anybody. So, in a very crude way, I have to say, anybody works for them if you know what I mean. If they can use it, they will. It doesn’t matter who the person is, what their gender is, and if they are into that gender or not. What matters to the narcissist is the validation, the admiration, the ego-worshipping, how they are being put on a pedestal, and what the person feels towards the false self this narcissist has created to escape their reality. It is very rare to understand, but they are attracted to their own perceived image. When somebody strokes their ego, they feel arousal. When somebody makes them feel like whatever they’re projecting out there is their reality, they feel so good. It’s their high, and that high somehow gets manifested as sexual arousal in their body. I have said it so many times; narcissists gain pleasure from your pain. And in this case, there are some narcissists who experience sexual arousal when they see you in pain. That’s why the narcissist in your life wanted to have sex, wanted to get physical after completely destroying you, after a big fight. You cannot explain that; no normal human being would want that. But why does a narcissist want that? Because their brain works differently; their biochemistry is different. I don’t know what kind of hit they are seeking, but it seems it’s all about power. After erasing you, they feel so good about themselves that it turns them on. And who is the object for instant gratification? Who can they use to feel that high even more? You. That’s why they come to you. And it’s about reestablishing the control they feel they have lost in that moment. All of this is to say they’re extremely sexually fluid.
How The Narcissist Knows They Have Lost You
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