How did I come to know about this? Well, I had my resources. I had my own things in place to know the truth because, deep down, I felt something wasn’t okay. And when it was revealed to me, a part of me died because I had to fully accept that I didn’t have anyone. I didn’t have any person I could call family. I am related by blood to many people, but there is no true familial relationship.
The second example I want to give you is of my mother, who is a major enabler of my malignant, narcissistic father. Mind you, she is a covert narcissist herself. So, for decades, she made it seem like one day we’d leave and that he was the enemy. She instigated me every single day for the right reasons. But when that day came, she flipped. She changed her colors and took his side. I was forced to seek his forgiveness for no fault of mine. That shattered me completely because it was the ultimate betrayal.
The third example I want to give you is of a common friend. I’ve talked about my narcissistic roommate a lot, who drove me crazy—he was pure evil. And there was this common friend I haven’t talked about much. He was my childhood friend, and that narcissist got to know him because of me. Quite surprisingly, they became close friends. Fine, I didn’t have any problems with that. But later on, this friend of mine, my childhood friend, was used as a flying monkey, as an enabler. This flying monkey, this enabler, would always ask intrusive questions to get more information from me and take it to the narcissist. He was so sheepish in his approach, and I maintained my relationship with him even after going no contact with the main narcissist. Then a day came when we met years after graduating from college. On that day, I intentionally shared some intimate information, like what I was up to, that I had gone no contact with my family, and so on. Because, deep down, I felt like something was going on, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
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