When he faced consequences for the first time, those consequences were dire. The primary consequence was that I exposed him openly and loudly. I was not afraid of neighbors hearing anymore. I made sure everybody heard my voice, especially what I was saying, because I was not speaking from a place of fear but from a place of righteousness. I told him exactly who he was, how he had been behaving, and how he was going to continue being. I did not verbally trash him; I just spoke the truth. But that was not the ultimate consequence. That was just the beginning.
The Ultimate Consequence: Absence
The ultimate consequence is this: I left him. I’m his only son, and despite doing very well for himself because he never spent money on us and accumulated wealth, it is of no use because he is alone. He knows his destiny is to be without anyone around. I have zero contact with him. He knows I’m not coming back. He understands very well that nothing is changing in this situation, and he has completely lost me. He tried to change his demeanor after I established no contact, but nothing shifted from my side because I vowed to myself that I would try not to be there even when he dies. This is the ultimate consequence. He knows it, and he cannot seem to digest it, which has led to his ultimate meltdown—a crisis where he is consumed by the thought of who is going to take care of him. That was the only role he wanted me to play: the role of a caretaker to be there as a container for his chaos.
Somehow, deep down, they know they are going to fall apart because their karma is bare. This is why I say the ultimate consequence to a narcissist is your absence. It is not what you do; it is what you do not do. When you leave them alone with themselves, that is when they face the reckoning for the first time.
Another Example: The Sister’s Departure
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