Another thing they will never do is give up control. Nothing is more important to a narcissist than control and power over others. They want to believe that you are completely and utterly incapable of doing anything without their input, direction, and demands. And if you try to prove otherwise, watch out! They will go to great lengths to ensure you fail. This is one of the reasons that divorcing a narcissist or, God forbid, a custody battle for your children can go on for years, or in some cases, like mine, decades. They do not care about the harm they are doing to you and their own children. That is not a concern of theirs at all. In fact, sometimes, like if you are dealing with a malignant narcissist, they will intentionally do things that harm you and the kids because they are desperate to show that you are the one with le of doing anything without their input, direction, and demands. And if you try to prove otherwise, watch out!
They will go to great lengths to ensure you fail. This is one of the reasons that divorcing a narcissist or, God forbid, a custody battle for your children can go on for years, or in some cases, like mine, decades. They do not care about the harm they are doing to you and their own children. That is not a concern of theirs at all. In fact, sometimes, like if you are dealing with a malignant narcissist, they will intentionally do things that harm you and the kids because they are desperate to show that you are the one with problems, that you are the one that is sick and deranged. And if they cannot find some kind of evidence of this, they will twist and manipulate the narrative into a reality that does provide evidence to prove this. Sometimes, they will even manufacture evidence to prove their narrative is true to others.
In my case, my ex-husband and his sister planted drugs in my car, stalked me, and called 9-1-1, claiming that I was an intoxicated driver who was going to kill someone. So, when I say that control is the most important thing to a narcissist, I mean it. Nothing is more important to a malignant narcissist than maintaining complete control so their narrative of reality wins. Another thing that narcissists will never do is forgive you if you are actually responsible for something where accountability is required or if you do not live up to their expectations of you, regardless of how ridiculous and extreme they are. They will not forgive you for mistakes you have made forever and will often bring these things up just to throw them in your face or degrade or devalue you when they are feeling insecure or possibly even just when they’re feeling bored.
Every time there is a disagreement or even a fight, something you did a hundred years ago will be thrown in your face. As hard as you might try to right this wrong, it will never happen because the narcissist doesn’t want you to feel secure or at peace. They need to hold onto your mistakes to utilize them in the future. When they are caught doing something awful to you, they will use it as leverage for the rest of your life as proof that you are the problem, you are the responsible party, and you are the one who needs to make amends.
10 Secrets Narcissists Keep from You
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
