One key thing about narcissists is how they kick people out of their lives when they decide they’re done. It’s always on their terms. They are careful and always keep an eye on their supply—that’s what they call the people they use. They manage their relationships so they never get rejected before they’re ready to dump someone. When they do decide to toss you aside, they think the timing is perfect and that they’re done with you.
But it doesn’t end there. Two big things are going on. First, they believe you’re needy and can’t handle life without them. This idea makes them feel superior and in control. Second, they expect you to chase after them like crazy. They want you to stroke their ego, making them feel like kings or queens. They’re banking on you to run after them, which makes them feel important and you feel worthless. If you don’t give them the attention they crave, they get really mad.
It’s strange, but if you don’t react the way they want, they suffer. They need your negative reactions to feel good about themselves. When you don’t play along, they’re left feeling empty and hurt. You’re not feeding their ego anymore, and that hurts them. This pain sticks around because they lose control over you. You’re not there to regulate their emotions anymore. They start blaming you for their misery, thinking you’re causing it by not reacting as they want. It’s as if they see you as the bad guy, deliberately hurting them by not giving them what they need.
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