Therefore, one of the first things a narcissist would do when they realize you refuse to be manipulated is devalue you. This can take many forms. The narcissist may try to embarrass you or set you up for embarrassment. They will gossip, slander, or carry out full-blown smear campaigns to devalue and discredit you as an individual. Their aim is to isolate you and get others to turn their backs on you. In the mind of the narcissist, if they cannot control you, they refuse to let you just get away with it and carry on with your life. This is why, if they can destroy any existing relationships you have, they will. Even though you have managed to secure your defenses and they’re not able to affect you directly, there may still be others around you who are not as strong or as wise to their attacks, and the narcissist can use them against you. The whole purpose is to lower your credibility and support. The narcissist wants you to fall out of favor with as many people as possible so that they will not believe you if you ever try to warn them about the narcissist.
The next thing a narcissist tends to do with those they’re not able to manipulate or control is become highly competitive. They may not be able to control you, but they can try to exceed you. The narcissist is on a mission to prove that they are still better than you in some way. As a result, they will constantly compare their lives with yours, hoping that you fall upon difficult times because the narcissist wants to have a bigger house, a flashier car, a more attractive partner, and a more progressive career than you. If you have one child, they will want to have at least two to stay ahead of you. They will fake success and put themselves in debt to give the impression that they are living a better life than you. Everything is a competition when the narcissist is no longer able to manipulate or control you, and faking happiness and success is a normal thing for them to do anyway. But it is important for the narcissist to see or feel that they are doing better than you are.
The final option for the narcissist when they can no longer control or manipulate someone is to ignore or distance themselves from this person. Sometimes it hurts the narcissist too much to be around someone who has escaped their grasp and whose life they are not able to affect in any way. The narcissist would prefer to waste no more time on someone who can clearly see through their BS. People like this make the covert narcissist very uncomfortable, so in these instances, the narcissist moves on to brighter pastures where they can find new people to manipulate and control, as it is too risky being around someone who can potentially expose them.
In conclusion…
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