One of the biggest signs of emotional immaturity in a female covert narcissist is their rigidity. They have a fixed mindset and cannot adapt when reality doesn’t align with their expectations.
They:
- Insist on things going their way
- Struggle to compromise or adjust
- View differing perspectives as personal attacks
This rigidity stems from an inability to process alternative viewpoints or tolerate change, resulting in a “my way or the highway” attitude. Ironically, they may accuse you of being inflexible while ignoring your perspective entirely.
3. Splitting
Female covert narcissists struggle with “whole object relations” and often rely on splitting—a defense mechanism where they see people as either entirely good or entirely bad.
When you meet their needs or validate them, they idealize you. However, the moment you challenge or disappoint them, they devalue you completely, erasing all your past efforts and viewing you as an enemy.
This black-and-white thinking applies not just to others but to themselves. They present a “perfect” facade to the world while hiding their insecure, shameful side.
4. Struggle with Emotional Continuity
Maintaining emotional connections over time is a challenge for a female covert narcissist. Without constant attention and validation, they feel insecure and disconnected.
For healthy individuals, emotional connection persists even during physical separation or conflict. In contrast, a narcissist:
- Feels abandoned if not continuously validated
- May provoke fights or stir up drama to regain attention
- Emotionally disconnects or turns to someone else
Their sense of entitlement means they expect unwavering support, even if you’re dealing with personal struggles like grief or illness.
5. Envy, Jealousy, and Constant Comparisons
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