A narcissist is an evil spirit that wants to possess all of you. They can’t share you with anyone or anything. They want you in pain and agony constantly, whether they’re a parent or a partner. The comfort your pet brings you is intolerable to them, so they either try to harm it, take it away, or cause trouble that leads to something bad for you or your pet. My father would chase away my cats, hurt my chickens, and shame me until I let them go. That was his protocol. He hated me spending time with animals because, in his mind, it brought him shame. He wanted all of my attention for himself.
Number three: Destroying the things that bring you peace.
Narcissists will intentionally and mercilessly destroy the things that help you escape their abuse. I’m talking about your gaming consoles, headphones, books, art supplies—whatever gives you peace. They’ll set it on fire if it’s an overt narcissist, burning it all right before your eyes with no empathy. If they’re a covert narcissist, they’ll subtly create distance between you and what you love, shaming or blaming you until you give up on your hobbies. They’ll guilt-trip you, making it seem like, “Oh, you’re giving that thing more attention than me.” I know this because it happened to me.
Sufi music was my escape during childhood. It brought me peace and helped me connect with the divine. But my father couldn’t stand it. My covert narcissist mother instigated him behind my back. One day, he destroyed my tape recorder, cassettes, headphones—everything. I stood there with tears in my eyes, promising myself I would leave that hell and never look back.
Number four: Removing the door from your room.
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