The biggest reason a survivor of narcissistic abuse values freedom so much is that they didn’t have any while living with the narcissist. Being around such an evil entity is a nightmarish experience because you have zero freedom; you can’t even breathe properly. It feels like you’re in a gas chamber, being slowly poisoned. Why slowly? Well, it’s death by a thousand cuts. They do subtle yet horrible things to torture you, making your life a living hell every single day.
Number one: Incessantly knocking on the door of your bedroom or bathroom the moment you go in.
Why do they do that? Because they demand entry. In a narcissist’s home, you cannot have any privacy or alone time. You can’t be by yourself because you are living with a delusional, paranoid, and sadistic individual who constantly catastrophizes and believes everyone is conspiring against them. The moment you lock the door, they feel a total loss of control over you, which is why they keep tabs on you 24/7. They want to know what you’re up to, who you’re talking to, and what you’re doing. They want to keep you hyper-vigilant.
How do I know this? Well, my father did it all the time. I wasn’t allowed any privacy, not because I was a bad child or involved in anything illegal. No, he knew my conscience was clear. He did it because he wanted absolute control over me. I remember once when I locked the door to change clothes as a teenager, he broke in and traumatized me. He did the same every time I went to the bathroom. He’d knock, saying things like, “I need the soap, the shampoo, my brush.” But I was in the middle of something!
“Please wait five minutes or use another bathroom,” I’d say. “If it’s that urgent, buy a new soap!” But no, he had to have control. He’d knock until I came out. He’d even say ridiculous things like, “Pretend I’m not here. Don’t make eye contact.” Then he’d smirk, proud of the discomfort he caused. He did this to both me and my sister.
Number two: Separating you from your pets out of jealousy.
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