How many of you have been in a situation where you presented clear evidence of their wrongdoing, only for them to look you in the eye and gaslight you, insisting it was your fault—that you’re oversensitive, or that you’re the one to blame? In my marriage with my ex-husband, I often felt this way. He would never accept responsibility, whether the issue was with me, his parents, our children, or his work. It was always someone else’s fault.
Narcissists fear accountability because acknowledging their actions would be too painful. As humans, we are wired to avoid pain, so the last thing a narcissist wants is to confront their own shortcomings. To avoid this, they create a network of enablers—people who will take the blame or defend them, allowing the narcissist to avoid responsibility.
2. Rejection
The second fear of a narcissist is rejection. They are driven by a need for what is known as “narcissistic supply”—validation from others that makes them feel worthy, important, and loved. This often comes from people who are codependent or people-pleasers, who give and give while the narcissist takes and takes.
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