“What you said about gossip is spot on. Females and males in the industry take each other down and ruin lives through gossip. They feel that taking someone else down will benefit them, and too often, they get away with it.”
The third thing you might notice with a female narcissist is her focus on appearances, which may also be seen in male narcissists but often manifests differently. Female narcissists tend to be attention-seeking, often faking aspects of their lives. They may pretend to be well-off, driving expensive cars and flaunting designer items, but behind the scenes, it’s all smoke and mirrors. Pay attention to the entitlement behind this behavior. If it feels like she expects you to buy her nice things and take her on expensive vacations as a condition of the relationship, that’s a red flag.
Here’s a comment that aligns with this:
“Malicious gossip? Check. Maintaining a home with perfect appearance even when she couldn’t afford it? Check. Exploiting shame to control me and others, while being deeply sensitive to it herself? Check.”
Another trait of the female covert narcissist is passive-aggressiveness. This is also common in male narcissists but tends to manifest more in women through behaviors like the silent treatment. I have to admit that I used to shut down when angry—a learned behavior I’ve since realized is not okay. It’s crucial to look for patterns and evaluate the person as a whole. The female covert narcissist might engage in silent treatment or stonewalling, which could escalate into reactive abuse, where she pushes your buttons until you react, then plays the victim.
At number four, we discuss how the female covert narcissist often emasculates men, using their masculinity against them. She may imply that you can’t be vulnerable or have feelings, especially regarding her actions. She might constantly criticize your ability to provide for your family or protect others, essentially using anything traditionally associated with masculinity against you.
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