When The Narcissist Knows You’re Done, This Is What Happens
Some people have trouble picking up on social signs; they have either never learned to read emotional cues or just do not care to do so. This trait may have roots in traumatic upbringing. Because of their difficulty in interpreting non-verbal cues, these people often receive special care and treatment. Narcissists have a hard time accepting defeat and will do everything they can to hold on to you once they realize you’ve had enough. If they think you’re worth engaging with again, they will reach out. This will begin the cycle of appreciation, depreciation, and eventual abandonment all over again.
Yet, if you’ve broken out of this pattern, the narcissist won’t try to reconnect with you directly. Instead, they will keep tabs on you, either directly or indirectly through “flying monkeys.” In their minds, you still belong to them, even if you no longer do physically. After a breakup, tracking and surveillance might continue for weeks, months, or even years due to their fixation on you and their need to keep tabs on you.
“How are you doing?” they might inquire. They would be overjoyed if you were stuck in your misery or anxiety and unable to move on—that’s just how they naturally think and act. The problem is that they lack empathy, which prevents them from picking up on social and emotional cues. Their inability to feel empathy for others is a tragic symptom of their condition.
I’ve already discussed this stage of discarding in previous videos. The point at which one says “enough is enough” and establishes limits is crucial. Despite the narcissist’s repeated attempts at communication, your decision to cut ties is final. They may break down in tears because it reminds them of all the times they were left behind. Relationships with narcissists typically progress through several stages, and the discard is not the ultimate one; it is merely the final step in ending a connection.
You have established boundaries, yet the narcissist may still attempt contact or surveillance. Only when you take control of the situation and proclaim “I quit!” will the relationship end for good. Narcissists’ frightening antics are typically rooted in their incapacity to read social cues and empathize with others, stemming from early rejection or abandonment. A narcissist may react negatively to later rejection or abandonment.
Narcissists may try to regain your attention after a breakup, but it isn’t because they’ve changed or are sorry. They view relationships as a means to an end, needing your emotional approval to feel validated. A positive outcome can be achieved by maintaining your strength of character, cutting off all communication, and refusing to buy into the illusion that things will improve.
Any assurances they give you are just words—nothing will change. They will always be like this, as that is who they are. The problem is not severe enough for you to break down, and I hope this video helps you see that. Remember, this is not about them; it’s about you. When you reject an offer, the discussion is over.
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