Others may argue that they have gone through their own period of darkness and decay after leaving the narcissist. I understand that, and I want to acknowledge your experience completely. But what you went through was temporary. Your suffering was the result of trauma, stress, and withdrawal from their manipulation. You were able to recover because the source of your vitality, your life force, exists within you. You have the internal resources to heal, grow, and regenerate your energy. The narcissist’s situation is fundamentally different. They are like a parasite that has been removed from its host body. The host—that is you—will eventually recover from the temporary weakness and aftereffects of having been drained. You will recuperate because you have an internal source of life force energy. You can regenerate your own spiritual vitality.
But the parasite cannot survive without the host. The narcissist cannot generate their own spiritual energy; they must have you or someone like you to provide sustenance. Without that external source, they wither away, decay, and collapse from the inside out. This is why the narcissist’s body shows such dramatic changes after you leave. It’s not just stress, sadness, or even depression in the conventional sense; it is spiritual starvation. It is the physical manifestation of a soul that never learned how to nourish itself, how to generate its own life force, or how to exist independently.
The most profound part of this process is that it is irreversible in almost all cases. Unlike you, who can heal and grow stronger after leaving the toxic relationship, the narcissist’s spiritual body has been fundamentally compromised. They may find other sources of supply, other people to feed from, but they will never again achieve the level of vitality they had when they were feeding directly from your energy. This is the hidden consequence of narcissistic abuse that nobody talks about. While we focus on helping survivors heal and recover, we rarely discuss what happens to the abuser spiritually when their primary source of life force energy is removed, which is you. They do not just lose a relationship; they lose spiritual sustenance. They do not just feel sad or angry; they begin to die from the inside out.
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