And sure, they might call it love. They might call it surrender. But make no mistake, most of the time it’s not love as we know it; it’s strategy. It’s survival. It’s a longing that looks holy but carries no peace. Still, even so, it’s a shift. And that shift, it speaks volumes—not about who they’ve become, but about who you are, the gift you carry.
Let’s be honest here: narcissists don’t love the way others do. They feel things, yes, but their feelings don’t flow from trust or truth; they come from need—a desperate, bottomless need to be seen, to be admired, to be filled. Not because they’re wicked, but because they’re empty. And in that emptiness, they’ve learned to drink from others like a well that never gets full.
But then someone walks in—you—and you don’t just reflect the image they’re selling to the world. You go deeper. You look through it, and somehow you stay. You don’t sell yourself to their story. You don’t play their game, but you see them and you stay steady. That’s a holy kind of danger to the narcissist because you give what they can’t fake: truth wrapped in grace, grounded in peace. You offer warmth but not weakness. You speak life but not illusion. Drawn by a hunger they can’t name, the narcissist begins to lean in—not because they understand love, but because they feel something they can’t live without. And that terrifies them.
But know this: being needed isn’t the same as being loved. The narcissist’s attention can feel like a fire. It burns hot. It burns bright. It makes you feel like you’re the center of the universe. But you’ve got to stop and ask, “Is this fire warming me, or is it burning me down?” Because being the center of their storm isn’t the same as being loved. It’s being used, admired, maybe consumed, certainly, but not cherished, not held, not known.
And if you’re the kind of soul who feels deeply, who sees beyond masks, who loves with mercy and vision, you might find yourself pulled into that fire without realizing it. Because the intensity feels like purpose. It feels like destiny, but it’s not. It’s need. And it’s a need that will take and take until you forget who you were before it all began.
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